A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

/*  Source Code to Windows 98   */ #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #include "monopoly.h" #define INSTALL = HARD char make_prog_look_big[16000

FUNNY QUOTES BY EMO PHILIPS "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." "I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him." "My class

1.  Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.  Normally one club and two balls. 2.  Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3.  Unlike outdoor golf, the object of the game is to get the club in the hole and keep balls out of the hole. 4. 

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things. He ran back inside right away and called the cops

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

The following story is courtesy of The Admiral: Back in about 1968 or 69, we made port in Yokosuka, Japan. Seemed like a nice sort of place to be for a bunch of crazy sailors. We'd been there before, so it was a place to go visit one's known funspots and have s

Find common interests. Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection Program too?" Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile. Call t

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To "I love you." When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box

☻Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.   ☻Reality is an illusion that