FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SPORTS

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
Mario Andretti.

"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
Rodney Dangerfield.

"Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."
Don Schula.

"Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!"
Frank Carson.

"Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse."
Richard Sasuly.

"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
Jim Murray.

"Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris."
Oscar Wilde

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."
Bill Shankly.

"I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
Woody Allen

"Sure, there have been deaths and injuries in boxing, but none of them serious."
Alan Winter.

"Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up."
Muhammad Ali.

"If women were meant to play football, God would have put their tits somewhere else."
Gordon Sinclair.

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf."
Henry Aaron.

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
Rita Rudner.

"Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country."
Ian Rush.

"If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving."
Henry Youngman.

"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
Steven Wright

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."
Peter Ustinov.

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."
Paul Newman.

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
Steven Wright

"They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
Walter Hagen.

"In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete."
Yakov Smirnoff.

"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won."
Muhammad Ali.

"Michael Chang has all the fire and passion of a public service announcement, so much so that he makes Pete Sampras appear fascinating."
Alex Ramsey.

"One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him."
Jeffrey Bernard.

"Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint."
Billy Connolly.

"When Peter Beardsley appears on television, daleks hide behind the sofa."
Nick Hancock.

"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important."
Bobby Robson.

"We've lost seven of our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It's a good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa."
Gareth Davies.

"Winning isn't everything: It's the only thing."
Vincent Lombardi.