Funny quotes - Famous quotes

Funny Famous quotes and humorous celebrity quotations from comedians to politicians, famous last words and famous quotes from the rich and famous of today and through history.

FUNNY QUOTES BY GEORGE BERNARD SHAW "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." "Those who can do, those who can't teach." "Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically

FUNNY QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN "The report of my death was an exaggeration." "They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce." "The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet

FUNNY QUOTES BY LARRY FLYNT "There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums." "If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not to me." "The major

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS WOMEN "I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names." Zsa Zsa Gabor "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SPORTS "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." Mario Andretti. "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out." Rodney Dangerfield. &quo

FUNNY CELEBRITY INSULTS "A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck." Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams "When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Ac

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS CELEBRITIES "Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." Emo Philips . "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of