Two guys sneak into a farmer's fruit garden and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of which ever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the far

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she roll

☻You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!  

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day. The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming. After a few seconds he rose and said, "Buffalo come." The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed "Damn you In

Once upon a time there was a man with a 25 inch penis. Any guy would be excited to have such a big penis, but this man was not. So one day his friend told him about a witch who could help him. So the friend gave the man the witch's address. The next day he visited the witch. Aft

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the out

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'may I borrow a highlighter?' 2. Say, 'uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.' 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, 'D

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN "Women should be obscene and not heard." Groucho Marx  "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." Mark Twain . "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be th

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job. Active socially: Drinks heavily. Alert to company developments: An office gossip. Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job. Average: Not too bright