doodhwali woman

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SERVER woman: She's always busy when you need her. WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but none can live without her. POWERPOINT woman: Only Bill Gates has the will to use her more than half an hour. EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things, but yo

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing: It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do! When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion: The woman goes to the store. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. The woma

A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says "NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE" Slightly distressed

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight." The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched he

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. An older woman is

One evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. When his wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?" "I got into a fight with the apartment manager." "Whatever for?" "He said he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!" The woman replied, "I bet it's

Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy w

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the out

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown and I know how to put the damned toilet seat

Geography of a Woman Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like

THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You

A old couple was celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary. The man booked a beautiful room in a hotel to add charms in their little celebration. The woman, who was wearing a nightgown approached the man and asked: "What did you think when the first time you saw me?" The man replied, "I t

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. IRISH WOMAN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

FUNNY QUOTES "The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot." "What is an elegant woman? An elegant woman is a woman who d

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet then men? So

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. An archaeologist is