romántica dating

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When you are dating... Farting is never an issue. When you are married... You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating... He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married... He brings home a six pack, and says "What are you goin

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his peni

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman

Everyone around you has an attitude problem. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker th

She calls to ask you the meaning of "conjugal." Her new bumper sticker: "Convicts do it for life." She proudly says she finally found a man who sleeps in the same bed every night. She only feels comfortable speaking to you on the phone when you're o

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you

Favorite Cute Love Quotes #1     LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.     Mark Twain Favorite Cute Love Quotes #2     I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough.     Regina 'Age 1

Rejection Lines Given By Women (and the translation of what they mean!)     I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo geek in "Deliverance.") There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my DAD.) I'm not attracted to you in

Good: Your wife is pregnant Bad: It's triplets Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago Good: Your wife is not talking to you Bad: She wants a divorce Ugly: She is a lawyer Good: Your son is finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next

Why Aren't You Married Yet? You haven't asked yet. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And spoil my great sex life? Nobody would believe me in white. Just lucky, I guess. It gives my mother something to live for. My fiancee is awaiting his/her

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization." 3. You refer to dating as test marketing. 4. You can spell "paradigm." 5. You actually know what a paradigm is. 6. You unders

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. IRISH WOMAN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, di

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." Pablo Picasso. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs,

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry. "There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with a

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your ta

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go

☻I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.