dirty text forwards

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If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little con

Sue and Jane are shopping together at the supermarket. When they get to the vegetables, Sue hefts a good sized potato in each hand and says, "You know, Jane, these remind me of John's balls." Jane, impressed says, "Hmm, that big, huh?" "No", Sue answers. "That dirty."

☻BLINKING STARS

MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX -------------------- 01. Nothing improves with age. 02. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it. 03. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 04. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. 05. No sex with anyone

Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u! If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. ere asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. 1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my ha

☻I asked an angel 2 watch over u, but he back sooner than xpected!i asked y?He said "an angel doesnt need 2 watch over an angel!"

☻Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.   ☻Reality is an illusion that

You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ... Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket. Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face. PMS lasts all month. Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display. "Honey, what are

☻Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends. ☻To

When you are dating... Farting is never an issue. When you are married... You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating... He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married... He brings home a six pack, and says "What are you goin

☻From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen

☻My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U, My arms R empty coz I can't hold U, My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

☻You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!  

☻God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ☻For the hand that rocks the

☻i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the

Gee, Sweetheart, let's skip dinner tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is you.   Wow, I just don't know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don't you take it to the mall and see if you can find something to buy with it.  

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet! I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station