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If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

Roses r blue, Violets r red, Im crap with colours, but wicked in bed. roses r red, poppys r 2, but ill do anything 2 b with you Roses r red Voilets r blue 2 hell wiv da colors I really luvs u Roses r red, sky lights r blue! Love

☻BLINKING STARS

Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u! If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. ere asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. 1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my ha

☻I asked an angel 2 watch over u, but he back sooner than xpected!i asked y?He said "an angel doesnt need 2 watch over an angel!"

I get up in the morning and greet it with a sigh, Shuffle from the bedroom with hair and brain awry, Totter to the bathroom with sorta knock-kneed gait To beat an urgent urging, that does not want to wait. Today I'll write some verse I think Pick up the pen and spread the ink

☻I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17inch paper, 99 copies. 2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen whi

☻Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends. ☻To

☻From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen

☻My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U, My arms R empty coz I can't hold U, My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart

☻You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!  

☻God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ☻For the hand that rocks the

☻i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet! I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station

Why not spice up your relationship and get multilingual? Below are instructions on how to say 'I love you' in 40 obscure tongues.  Just tap them into an SMS and

☻Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.   ☻Reality is an illusion that

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. Wear a cape that

real wrong and funny family fortunes answers The funniest and best list of Family Fortunes answers. Contestants from the ITV (UK) Family Fortunes game-show are asked to guess the most popular answers to questions posed in a survey. Some of these 'Family Misfortunes' answers are actually