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One day, back in the olden days, a cowboy was crossing the desert to do some trading and came upon an Indian. The Indian was laying on his back and had an erection that stuck straight up in the air. The cowboy asked the Indian what he was doing. The Indian replied, "Me tell-um time." This made s

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Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'   If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.   Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one. &nbs

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. ere asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. 1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my ha

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9: A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in

Chemistry Professor Wears a white lab coat. This may actually be clean but does not have to be. Practical Chemistry professor have a brand new coat that has never been in the lab. Polymer Chemistry professors have strange glop on their coat, and Introductory Che

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01am, the first person came

A man is marooned on an island for ten years and has given up all hope of ever being saved, when suddenly, one day, a woman washes ashore. Her clothes are all tattered, and she is clutching a little waterproof bag. It seems that her ship also hit the coral reef off the island and has sunk. She, to

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. IRISH WOMAN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Favorite Romantic Quotes #1     Real love stories never have endings.     Richard Bach Favorite Romantic Quotes #2     Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.     Halen Favorite Romantic Quotes #3    

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his f

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?" Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor. The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca, and Gary. "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The

This is a personal account of a ghost story that occured over 10 years ago. This "true experince" firml supported my theory that our departed loved ones can convey messages through dreams. Back in 1989, being a fresh

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle) Girl: Slow down. Im scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him) G

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. Top personnel executives of 100 major American corporation

The following story is courtesy of The Admiral: Back in about 1968 or 69, we made port in Yokosuka, Japan. Seemed like a nice sort of place to be for a bunch of crazy sailors. We'd been there before, so it was a place to go visit one's known funspots and have s