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On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh

FUNNY QUOTES BY LARRY FLYNT "There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums." "If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not to me." "The major

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and th

Britney Spears sexy picture

Britney Spears sexy picture

Britney Spears sexy picture

Sexy picture bibliography

You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ... Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket. Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face. PMS lasts all month. Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display. "Honey, what are

FUNNY QUOTES BY OSCAR WILDE "In married life three is company and two none." From 'The Importance of Being Earnest' 1895. "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." From 'T

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing C

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With hi

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer." The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her p

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need... = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need

Why It's Great to be a Woman We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. Taxis stop for us. We don't look like a f

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how

Take my picture as I stand Posing proudly on the sand, My cornetto in my hand. Towel concealing all that's floppy, Smile controlled and not too soppy, Everyone will want a copy. Print comes later in the week. God, who is this aged freak? Tear it up. No, do not spe

When you are dating... Farting is never an issue. When you are married... You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating... He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married... He brings home a six pack, and says "What are you goin

After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in." Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass. Actually answers when you ask "Who's your daddy?" Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire. Only moans during