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I always thought the original saying was, "If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back to you, it wasn't yours to begin with." However, for the purposes of this test, let's use the proposed version. In which category do *you* fall? The Old Version If you love so

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbo

Thank you for the party Mum My birthday was such fun I know my friends will all come back When I have another one The cake you baked was special I never would have thought Mum That a no-egg, no-milk, no-butter, chocolate-free, fat-free, sugar-free, date & pumpkin cake W

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things. He ran back inside right away and called the cops

How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away. My soul cries out more, more, and again I search your dark eyes until I'm strapped in a trance like state. You proceed to tease my lips wi

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

Yo Mama's so dumb i told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went lookin'. Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone. Your Mama's so dumb that she got smacked by a statue. Yo Mama's so dumb she got locked in a toilet and pissed herself. Yo Mama's so dumb

Women are more fun when the power goes out You can't get your guitar wet Ever try to screw a guitar? The input to a guitar is only 1/4" (ouch!) A guitar won't beg to be played It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it When playing a guitar, you can use you

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost cont

The Real Meaning Behind Those Personal Ad Abbreviations THE WOMEN 40-ish 48 Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic Flat-chested

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common la

"To purchase our official applicator/turkey baster for an additional $6.99, click here." After your purchase, you keep getting junk email with the subject "MAKE BABIES FAST!!!" "Marketing Manager" keeps calling to offer "free home delivery."

A guitar has a volume knob If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $. 79 for a new one You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to You can unplug a guitar You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more Other people can play y

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SEX "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen . "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." Brendan Francis. "There we were

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MEN "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things." Jilly Cooper. "You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? Tha